Can't Go Back Now
by mariko05
Summary: The flirtation turns into romance when Sam takes care of Andy after she's been hurt.
1. To Move in or Not to Move in?

**Title**: Can't Go Back Now

**Pairing**: Sam Swarek/Andy McNally

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Rookie Blue_, I just like to write about it.

**Notes**: I've had writer's block for a while now. And for a while, I mean about a year. Thank god for the season two premiere today! The original story of mine called "Can't Go Back Now" is officially dead to me. Instead, I've come up with something entirely new, and hopefully, better. Just to give you fair warning it is going to be **DARK**, **DISTURBING** and **VIOLENT**.

**Chapter One: To Move In _or_ Not to Move In? That is the Question.**

Grinning, his trademark smirk visible, Sam congratulates Andy. "So, you did it. You saved the day."

She swiftly turns around, relief visible on her face. "You're alive?"

"Thanks for stating the obvious."

"I just...I just thought..." Andy walks towards him, thoroughly confused. "I saw the body bag, and I thought...I thought..."

"Hey, hey...it's okay," he takes her in his arms, rubbing her back, soothing her with his words. "I'm fine. Don't cry."

_I hate when women cry. Their face gets all red and puffy. It's weird and unnatural._

He's always uncomfortable when women cry. His mom, his sister, now Andy...Sam cups Andy's face, and wipes away her tears with his thumb. Nodding his head towards Callaghan, "You should go thank him."

"I should," Andy agrees. "Will you be okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."

**333**

Andy wraps her arms around Luke from behind, pressing her body against his, "Thank you."

"Hmmm, what?" He says, distracted, while pointing in the direction he wants the body to go to the coroners.

"Thank you for having my back."

Luke grabs her hands and twirls Andy around to face him, her hair swishing in front of her face, eyes sparkling with laughter. Sam watches from a distance, resigned.

"Always."

"So," Andy gently presses her lips to his. "When do we get our keys?"

Luke reaches into his pocket and dangles them in front of her. "No way!" she exclaims. He leans in for another kiss, but instead, whispers in her ear, "Maybe, when this thing is done, we can do something naughty on the stairs again."

"Yeah, maybe," Andy smirks.

"How about you wear those heels?"

Andy laughs. "How about that's the _only _thing I wear?"

"I like the sound of that."

**333**

After having spent three hours at the station filling out paperwork, Sam throws his keys on the counter in his front hall, and flops onto his bed, exhausted.

Less than two minutes later, ringing interrupts his sleep. "NOOOO!" he groans, ripping the cord from his alarm clock from it's socket. The ringing continues. "What the...?"

He ignores the ringing for the first five minutes. Then, after opening one eye, decides to search for his phone. He heads over to his desk, his jeans hanging on the back of the chair and he digs into his back pocket for his phone.

"What?" he barks.

Silence.

"McNally, if that's you, you better have a damn good excuse for calling!"

"Little brother?" he hears Sarah's timid voice.

"Sarah?" he asks, shocked.

"Yeah, it's me. Oliver called. Said it was serious. What happened? Are you hurt? Should I call mom and dad?"

Sam rolls his eyes. Sarah's always been _overly_ emotional; it's gotten progressively worse since a) her attack, b) his move to Toronto ten years ago and c) his decision to become an officer.

"Sarah, I'm fine," he reassures her. "How about I take some time off and I come to visit. Then you'll be able to see just how fine I am."

"I'd like that. Are you sure that'll be okay with your Staff Sergeant?"

"Yeah, he'll be glad to be rid of me for a bit...But, I'm tired, Sarah. Do you mind if we catch up tomorrow?"

"I'm sorry," Sarah apologizes. "I'll pry the details from you when you're here tomorrow. Get some rest."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"'night."

**333**

"Luke?" Andy calls out to a seemingly empty house. "Luke, are you home?"

Wow, I like the sound of that. _Home_, she thought.

"Luke?"

Silence.

Andy drops her overnight duffle at the entrance of their new home, and grins, a big toothy grin. Just minutes after Sam leaves in his squad car for the station, Andy yawns and announces that she's going to her place to grab some stuff and then head over to their new home. Luke assures her that he'll be there as soon as he can. She doesn't bank on him being home tonight. Tonight was the biggest drug bust of 15 Division, and probably of her career.

She flips the switch to turn on the front hall lights, but nothing happens. "Damn it," she mutters to herself. She should've thought to have brought a flashlight, or at least some candles.

_Candles would be nice, romantic._

Feeling along the wall, she enters the kitchen. Flipping the switch there, still nothing happens.

"Hmm...weird..."

She doesn't notice when a hooded figure enters the kitchen from the laundry room. As she turns to face the sliding glass doors that open into their backyard, literally, from out of nowhere, Andy is hit from behind with a shovel, and crumbles to the ground, unconscious. The hooded young man smiles to himself. _Success_.

He uses both his hands to drag Andy's limp body across the floor towards her guest bedroom. He struggles to lift her onto her bed, his muscles aching. Her torso, lopsided, is framed against the side of the bed. He grips her thighs, pressing his body against hers. Finally, after ten minutes, he slides her up the bed, and he straddles her. His hands creep underneath her shirt, groping, his erection growing hard. She's still unconscious; the way he likes his women. He has a death grip on her tight black jeans, tugging at her panties, pulling them to her ankles. He unzips his jeans, tugs them down his legs. Grinning manically, he enters her, thrusting again and again and again, his eyes roll back in pleasure; he moans.

Somewhere in the distance, an ignition starts, and paranoid, the young man jumps to the ground, pulls up his pants, and looks both ways as he exits the house casually.

** 333**

It was still dark when Andy wakes up, head throbbing, jeans around her ankles. She looks down, a single tear rolling down her cheek, the realization clear - she _must_ have been raped. Try as she might, picking herself up is not an easy task. Dizzy, she lies back down, and is soon unconscious again.

**333**

Daylight breaks before Luke is able to leave his office. Grinning, with two hot coffees in hand, his thoughts drift towards Andy in her heels, as he approaches _their_ house. His grin fades when he notices that their front door is wide open. In the entrance he calls out, "Andy?"

He is met with silence.

"Hey, honey I'm home," he jokes. Just as soon as the joke leaves his mouth, he berates himself for doing it. _What if something's seriously wrong_. Setting down the coffee, he calls her name again. "Andy, it's Luke. If you can hear me, say something..."

Silence.

Luke trips over Andy's overnight duffle in the front hall. Glancing into their living room, he notices that nothing has been disturbed. He glances into their guest bedroom. Nothing. He begins to walk towards their kitchen, when he sees movement from the far end of the bedroom out of the corner of his eye.

"Andy?"

Andy has curled herself into a little ball in the corner, crying. At first Luke doesn't notice that she isn't wearing jeans or underwear.

"What happened?"

She stares back at him blankly, not saying a word.

"Oh god...Okay...This is what we're going to do," Luke tells her in his Detective voice. "I'm going to call my team and they are going to document the scene. As they're doing that, I'm going to take you to the hospital and you'll get a rape kit done, and then..."

"No," Andy tells him firmly.

"What?"

"No rape kit."

"Andy, you know that's how this works," Luke tries to appeal to her rational side.

"No!"

"Andy!"

"No! No! No! No!" she shouts at him. "Don't say _that _word! Get out!" she screams, when Luke tries to help her up.

**333**

"She's not thinking clearly," Luke is telling someone over the phone. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?"

"Damn it," Luke swears, slamming his fist against the wall in frustration. Not caring about protocol, Luke walks back into the bedroom, grabs hold of Andy and drags her into his car. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

Too tired to fight, Andy rests her head against the glass and she falls asleep.

"Andy," Luke calls to her, and when she doesn't wake, he pokes her in the side numerous times. "Andy, wake up. I have to keep you awake in case you have a concussion."

The hospital is all white walls, disinfectant and old people.

"Detective Callaghan," greets Dr. Liz Beck, "What a pleasant surprise."

"Actually, Doc..." Luke mouths the next words. "I need you to perform a 'PERK' kit for me."

"Oh?"

Luke whispers to Andy who's hiding behind him. "It's okay," he reassures her. "You'll be fine. I promise."

Andy, shyly, looks up at the doctor. "Andy, this is Dr. Beck. Dr. Beck, meet my girlfriend, Andy."

"So you're the cop that Luke can't stop grinning about. I can see why." Dr. Beck looks concerned when she notices the bruises on Andy's arms that she's trying to cover up by crossing them across her chest. She gestures to Andy, "Why don't you follow me and we'll get you cleaned up and checked out."

Andy looks back at Luke, fear evident in her eyes. "Go on. You'll be fine. I'll wait right outside for you."

Luke watches as Andy disappears down the hall.

**333**

"So, it's unanimous? **Nobody** is to call Swarek about Andy's...condition, while he's taking some personal time," Oliver Shaw confirms with the team during their impromptu meeting.

**333**

"Little brother!" Sarah shouts excitedly as she runs to give him a hug. "It's so good to see you!"

Sam grins. "It's good to see you too. How've you been?"

"Nothing's changed," she tells him quickly. "What happened to you? I want to hear _all _about it. I've been waiting as patiently as I can. You're not going to make me wait any longer, are you? I may be forced to call Officer Shaw if you won't give up the goods."

"Geez, Sarah, can't a guy get a word in edgewise. No, you won't have to wait any longer. How about I tell you over dinner."


	2. Throw Your Arms Around the World

**Chapter Two: Tryin' to Throw Your Arms Around the World**

For some time, Sarah watches from her patio as Sam flips burgers on her barbecue. "Remember when you singed those bad boys off?" she giggles, pointing at his eyebrows.

"Of course _you_ would," he rolls his eyes. "I was thirteen and you were supposed to be watching me. Instead, you were sneaking shots of tequila with your boyfriend and made _me_ flip _your_ burgers."

"Oh honey," she mocks sympathy. "Are you still upset about that?"

"Damn straight," Sam jokes. Sarah laughs along with him.

"It's good to hear you laugh. I've missed that," he admits.

She crosses her arms. "Then why don't you move back?"

"Sarah..." Sam groans in frustration, "We've been through this before. I'm happy in Toronto."

"Is there someone keeping you in Toronto?"

He shrugs. "No, not really. I just like the city."

Sarah's eyes light up, and completely ignoring his responses states, "There _totally _is, isn't there?"

Flipping the second burger, Sam grumbles, "Can we _not_ do this right now?"

"Fine then," she accepts the challenge. "We won't talk about this now. But how about the reason _why_ Shaw called me in the middle of the night."

"To be honest, I have _no_ idea why he called you."

"You _promised_ you'd tell me."

"Yeah, so you'd shut up about it."

Sarah swats his arm. He acts in mock pain. "Police brutality," he jokes.

"Seriously Sam, is there something wrong?"

**333**

Andy eyes the white gown hanging on the back of the hospital room door. She fingers the polyester material thinking that she never thought she would _ever_ have to wear this - _this_ is for victims - and she certainly isn't a victim, is she?

"Okay, so Andy, do you mind putting this on?" Dr. Beck hands her the gown.

She looks from the gown to the doctor. "Do I have to?"

"Andy, if I'm going to help you, you'll have to be naked. I'm sorry. I'm sure this is difficult for you."

Meanwhile, Luke is pacing outside of the door, wondering whether Andy will cooperate.

Slowly, button by button, Andy removes her layers of clothing. She starts to cry when she begins to take off her underwear. "I...I...can't."

"Hey," Dr Beck says, soothingly. "That's okay." The doctor rubs her back, reassuringly.

"We'll start here," she touches Andy's shoulder. "Is that okay?"

Andy nods.

**333**

"Sarah, I just think it's an over reaction on Oliver, uh, Officer Shaw's part. They're trying to recruit me to 'Guns and Gangs' again."

"What!" Sarah shrieks, hysterical. "No!"

"Calm down," Sam, ignoring the burgers, takes his sister into his arms. "Nothing's been decided yet."

**333**

"Dr. Beck?"

"You can call me, Liz. We don't have to be formal here."

"Liz," Andy corrects herself. "Would you say I'm a victim?"

Dr. Beck takes a good long look at Andy, "Do you think you're a victim?"

_What? Are you my shrink now?_

"I don't know how I feel."

As Dr. Beck pokes and prods, she admits, "I don't know how I'd be doing if I were in your shoes. Probably a wreck. You, on the other hand, are being very brave. You're a survivor, I can tell."

"Thanks," Andy forces a smile. "I think I needed to hear that, right about now."

"What I need you to do is lie down," Dr. Beck tells Andy.

"I don't think..."

"This must be hard for you. Do you want to nail this guy to the wall, or what?"

"Yeah, of course. I just...I don't want..."

Dr. Beck walks over to Andy's side. "Look at me." Andy turns her head to the side. "I'm _not_ going to hurt you...This will be a little uncomfortable, but if this helps, think, I'm going to catch this guy and stop him from doing the same to someone else. You're going to be someone else's hero."

"Say it."

Without conviction, Andy repeats, "I'm going to be someone else's hero."

"Good."

**333**

Munching on a french fry, Sarah ponders, "What if I moved back to Toronto?"

"What?" Sam chokes on his food.

"I haven't told you this, but I'm going to a support group for women who've been sexually assaulted, and there's this one woman who's moving to Toronto for a job..."

"So..."

"She's suggested that we move in together."

"That's not even a reason."

"You're there."

"Yeah, and I'm working _all_ the time, and I may be going undercover again."

Sarah narrows her eyes. "I thought that was all talk?"

"No, I just said I haven't decided what I want to do yet."

"Sarah," Sam grips her shoulders, thinking it's going to make his lecture seem more dramatic. "Mom and dad are here. Adam is here. You want to give all that up?"

"I've already talked to mom and dad. They think it's a good idea. And Adam's being supportive. He's going to move."

"His business is here."

"You're really against me moving to Toronto, aren't you?"

"I just want to keep you safe, that's all," Sam sighs in defeat.

**333**

"Why don't you talk to me, about anything," Dr. Beck suggests to Andy as she begins to comb through Andy's hair.

"What would you like to hear about?"

"How about...what Detective Callaghan is like to live with?"

"Hahaha. Great. He picks up after himself...most men don't...He puts the toilet seat down...most men don't...He doesn't pee in front of me..."

"Thank god," Dr. Beck finishes for her.

Andy flinches when Dr. Beck begins to swipe her thighs with a cotton swab, and then bags it.

"I know it's uncomfortable, Andy. I'm sorry. Now," Dr. Beck lifts a new cotton swab, "I'm going to swipe the inside of your vagina. It's going to feel weird. Would you like Luke in here with you?"

Andy shakes her head 'no' vigorously. "Okay, here we go."

About ten minutes later, Andy is given some fresh clothes and offered a shower.

"Thank you," she cries as she gives Dr. Beck a hug.

**333**

As Gail snuggles up to Chris in the living room of his apartment, she wonders aloud, "How do you think Andy's going to be when she returns to work?"


	3. Keep Holding On

**Chapter Three: Keep Holding On**

Andy shoves her civilian clothes into her duffle, and shoves it in her locker when Gail pokes her head in the Rookies' locker room.

"Andy," Gail nods at her. "Glad you're okay. Best wants to see you in his office, ASAP."

"Oh?" she answers, surprised. "Okay. Thanks."

After Andy holsters her weapon and ties back her hair, she exits the room and heads towards Staff Sergeant Best's office. She knocks on his door.

"Sir?" she pokes her head in his doorway, when he makes a gesture for her to enter. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, McNally," Best looks up from his paperwork, and gestures for sit down. "Please, take a seat."

"What would you like to talk about, sir?"

"Well," Best looks physically uncomfortable. "We, at the Division, want to let you know that we're, uh, relieved that you're, uh, injuries weren't more severe..."

"Thank you, sir. Me too, sir."

"But..."

_Oh, God, there's a but..._

"I need you to leave me your firearm."

"Seriously?" Andy forgets about formality.

"I'm really sorry about this McNally. You'll get it back once you've been cleared by our departmental psychologist."

"You want me to see a shrink?" she asks incredulously. "But I'm fine!"

"You're not fine," Best argues. "Less than forty eight hours ago, you were involved in one of the biggest drug busts in our history and sexually assaulted in your home. You're not fine. You're not fine until Dr. Foster tells me you're fine."

"But," Andy begins to whine. "I want to come back to work. I _need_ to come back."

"McNally, listen to me carefully. It's only been two days. Take a week off, and then we'll talk about you returning to work in some capacity."

"I can handle a desk job. Really, I can!" she pleads.

"I'm sorry McNally, but this isn't a suggestion, it's an order. You can call me in a week to discuss this."

She slams her gun on his desk as she leaves, angrily. You know, just to prove a point.

"If there's anything we can do..." Sergeant Best tells to her retreating back.

Andy ignores him, too angry to speak.

**333**

The next morning Sam is sitting at Sarah's kitchen table shovelling in scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast, and washing it down with orange juice and coffee.

"It looks like you haven't eaten properly in days," Sarah comments.

"Hmm," Sam replies, continuing to eat. "Nobody there to cook for me."

"Maybe if you moved back home..."

"Sarah..." Sam warns, "Don't go there."

"Come on," she argues. "You can't really blame us. We just want you to be safe. Is that such a crime?"

"I'm leaving tomorrow, and there's really nothing you or mom and dad can do or say to change my mind."

"Well, if there's really nothing we can do..." Sarah trails off when she notices Sam's expression. His 'don't push it' face.

"Okay," she says, moving on. "What would you like to do today?"

"Niagara Falls?" Sam shrugs.

"Really?" Sarah rolls her eyes. "I thought you used to live here? You haven't gotten enough of that place yet?"

"Okay, Ms. Sarcasm, what would you suggest?"

"How about the Dragon Boat Festival?"

"Sure, why not? It's a nice day."

**333**

"Hey, Andy..."

"Hey, it's good..."

Andy, ignoring all the well wishers, walked straight out of the building in shock. She couldn't believe that Sergeant Best had taken her gun and with it, her dignity. She's shaking as she turns the key in the lock of her _new _home, the home that has now been tainted for her. Turning the lock, she double checks that it's sturdy and locked before she heads towards the den. Exhausted, she collapses on her couch, covers her face as she begins to sob, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Less than two minutes later, she straightens up, wipes away her tears and heads towards her bathroom. She splashes cold water on her face hoping that it will inject some kind of life back into it, but all she's met with are hollow eyes. Like a zombie, she puts on her pajamas and climbs into bed. Within seconds she's dead to the world.

**333**

"Hey, buddy. Nice of you to join the parade," Officer Shaw, whose handing out the day's assignments jokes to Sam when he staggers in late. Sam scours the room, searching for any sign of Andy.

"Andy's out sick," Officer Williams whispers to Officer Swarek.

"How did you..."

"Women just _know_ these things," she replies.

With every pair of eyes on Officer Shaw, he begins telling them their assignments. "Peck, you're with Diaz. Traffic patrol at Bay and Bloor. Lights are out."

They both grin at each other, discreetly, as they roll their eyes at their assignment.

"Nash, you're with Williams. Domestic disturbance call, U of T residence, 73 Queen's Park Crescent."

"Swarek, you're with me."

"Epstein, you're on a coffee run."

Epstein raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Annoyed, Officer Shaw explains. "And then, the D's in homicide need help with their serial killer case."

"Now, that's more like it."

"Shut up," Officer Shaw tells him.

**333**

"So," Sam starts making small talk. "Andy's sick?"

"Sam, we need to talk."

"About?"

"Andy."


	4. Mad World

**Chapter Four: Mad World**

"Why is everyone giving me weird looks?" Sam attempts to make small talk with Oliver.

"Weird looks?" Oliver makes a face. "What?"

"Yeah," Sam answers. "Like the one you're giving me. The 'guilt' face."

"No guilt. Nothing. I swear."

"What are you babbling about?"

Oliver looks worried. "Don't be mad. Okay?"

"What am I going to be mad about?"

"Maybe...you know, I should be the one driving?"

Sam grips the wheel in frustration. "Just spit it out, okay? You're acting like a freakin' girl."

Oliver shuts his eyes, inhales and then exhales slowly. "Andy was raped."

"WHAT!" Sam shouts, angrily, pressing on the accelerator, the vehicle speeding from zero to one twenty in seconds. Oliver's head snaps forward and then back, forced by the speed of the vehicle.

"What the...? Sam! Slow down..."

"When?" Oliver notices that Sam is clenching the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are turning white.

"When what?"

"When was she raped?"

"A couple days ago. You were in St. Catherine's visiting your sister. We didn't want to bother you." Oliver trails off as he notices the vehicle is quickly moving from one twenty mph to one thirty to one forty.

"You didn't want to bother me!" he asks incredulously, ready to explode with anger. "She's my _fuckin' _rookie! And nobody called to tell me!"

Sam, not really thinking clearly, turns on the siren and makes an illegal u-turn.

_It's not really illegal if it's an emergency and we're cops, right? God, I know I haven't really prayed to you in a while, but don't blame Sam for this - he's just being very emotional right now - and please, if you're listening, don't let him kill us._

He heads in the direction of Andy's apartment. He starts to slow the vehicle, just a little bit, and Oliver lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding in. Feeling the need to be protective of his friend, and yet, cautious at the same time, he reluctantly reminds Sam, "Andy moved in with Callaghan a couple days ago, remember?"

"Damn it!" Sam yells, hitting the steering wheel hard, making the horn honk.

"Sam," Oliver shouts over the noise. "I don't know what's going on with you and McNally, but you really _need_ to let me drive."

**333**

"Andy," Luke shakes her awake from their bed. "It's been two days. You should get out of bed."

"Leave me alone," she groans, and lifts the covers over her head, wanting to shut out the daylight.

"At least...take a shower?" he suggests. "I have to get back to work, hun. I'll be back tonight to make you dinner."

He kisses the top of her forehead tenderly. On his way out he's almost run over my Sam and Oliver. Sam swings his door wide open, not bothering to close it, and closes in on Luke before he's able to reach his car. Shoving him a little, Sam shouts, "What's wrong with you?"

"What?"

"I said, what's wrong with you?"

"Are you drunk, Sammy?"

"Don't call me that! Why didn't you call me when Andy..." Sam's voice broke down a little in desperation and exhaustion.

"Why do you think?" Luke raises his voice, angrily. "Why would I? She's not _your_ girlfriend," he rubs in.

"Can we see her, Luke?" Oliver cuts in.

Luke looks concerned. "She's kind of in a fragile state. She's not really accepting any visitors right now."

"I-DON'T-GIVE-A-SHIT," Sam spelled it out for him. "I want to see my rookie."

"She's not really _your_ rookie anymore, now, is she? Remember? She was cut loose a couple days ago."

"What's your problem, Callaghan? I just want to see her."

Ignoring Sam's plea, Luke opens his car door. "I have to get back to work."

"Don't walk away from me," Sam threatens. He headlocks Luke in a seemingly unlikely 'Sammy' move.

_What the fuck? Now, I have to break up a fight. I don't get paid enough for this._

"Enough!" shouts Oliver, as he tugs Sam off of Luke.

"Pathetic," Luke mutters as he climbs into his car. Sam's already pounding Andy's front door when Luke drives away.

"Sam," Oliver touches Sam's shoulder. "We should go."

"Not until I see McNally," Sam replies, determined, as he shakes him off.

"Andy, it's Sam," he shouts. "Andy, I'm not leaving until you open this door." He pounds on the front door some more.

The front room curtains flutter at the house next door before the door opens and an older lady pops her head out. "Officers? What's going on?" she asks, concerned. "Is everything alright?"

"No, ma'am. Do you have a spare key to this house?"

"Why do you ask?" she asks, suspiciously.

"We're just checking on Andy, ma'am."

"Well," she hesitates, "I guess that's okay."

**333**

Complete silence greeted Sam and Oliver as they enter the house. "Andy?"

**333**

Less than twenty minutes after Luke returns to the office, it's abuzz with rumours of how Sam harassed Luke outside of his home. As Gail walks by Sergeant Best's office, he gestures her to enter.

"When he gets back, tell Swarek I want to see him in my office."

"Yes, sir."


	5. Can You Save Me?

**Note:** Andy's acting _not_ very Andy-like in this chapter. Sorry, she's probably going to seem a little **OOC** this chapter. It'll be more Andy-like soon enough. However, I hope it's still enjoyable. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Your reviews make me smile and they keep me powering through.

**P.S. **I'm open to any suggestions for improvements in terms of my story line, character development, and writing style.

**P.S.S. **The sentences in italics are what the character is thinking, but not saying out loud. Sorry, if that makes this part a bit more difficult to follow.

**Chapter Five: Can You Save Me?**

"I'll wait here," Oliver stands his ground in Andy's front hall. He doesn't want to intrude where he isn't wanted, and he has a feeling that neither he nor Sam are welcome. Even Andy's neighbour wasn't sure that she wanted to let them in, but they are cops, and they are in uniform, so she did.

"Suit yourself," Sam shrugs, as he walks down the hall towards the kitchen. Being welcome has never been a priority to him. He'll kick down doors if he has to, and in the end, as if by divine intervention, he _always_ gets what he wants.

"For God's sakes, Sammy. Take off your damn shoes," Oliver shouts after him. "It's only polite."

"Seriously?" Sam smirks.

"What?" Oliver replies innocently. "I'm married. So sue me."

"Andy?" he calls out. "Andy, it's me, Sam."

He is only met with silence.

"Maybe we should leave," Oliver suggests.

Sam ignores his suggestion, instead asking Oliver, "Callaghan said she was home, right?"

Oliver shrugs his shoulders in response, yet points in the upstairs direction.

"Good idea. She's probably wallowing in her room," Sam says to himself, as he putters around with her picture frames lining the front hall, taking his time. From the corner of his eye, he sees Oliver fold his arms across his chest, bored. Oliver observes, "Are you interested in checking in on McNally, or you're really here to see McNally's new place with Callaghan?"

He can tell he's hit a nerve. "I'm not jealous," Sam states, just for the record.

"You said it, not me."

"I'm not," Sam argues. "_I'm not_."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm not the one that needs convincing."

Sam takes two steps at a time, not really caring if the stairs creak or not. Basically, he's announcing his presence. She'll probably just assume it's Callaghan, back to check on her seconds after he's left.

"Andy, are you in there?" Sam knocks on what he assumes is her and Luke's bedroom door. "Andy?"

"Sam?" He definitely hears his name, muffled, like she has something over her head. "How'd you get in the house? Did Luke let you in?"

"Your neighbor."

"That doesn't surprise me. She's always sticking her nose in other people's business."

"Can I come in?" Sam asks, but has already started turning the handle on her door.

"No," she whimpers. "Go away!"

_She doesn't want him to see her like this. She's a fucking mess; hasn't combed her hair or showered or changed or even left the bed in three days._ With confirmation that the door he's opening is the correct one, Sam turns the handle and enters the room, ignoring Andy's request to be left alone.

He's greeted with, "Do you not speak English?" she asks, sarcastically. "I said, I don't want to see you."

"I want to see you."

Sam pays no attention to her angry comment, instead, swiftly lifting back her covers. Feeling completely naked, vulnerable and exposed, for the first time in days, she immediately curls up in the fetal position, trying to feel safe. Surprisingly, for the first time she feels uncomfortable in the presence of Sam Swarek - what happened to respecting privacy? _Has she ever broken into his home after he's been attacked? No._ After sitting down on the edge of her bed, he picks up her tense body, holding her close to him, feeling the slow thud of her heartbeat, her breath on his neck. Although he is kind of disgusted by her breath, he swallows his comment. Now's not the time for sarcasm. After a minute he feels her body relax slightly against him. He let her completely slump against his body before he whispers, "Why didn't you call me?"

He feels her tense up again, and with more conviction than he's ever heard her use, she responds, "_Excuse me_?"

"You should have called," Sam argues. "I would have come home for you."_ What he meant to say was, I would have fought for you - and I never would have left you alone._

Andy raises her eyebrows, not believing the _implications_ of what Sam is saying to her.

"This sounds to me like, I don't know," she says, rolling her eyes, "Like I was the one who was _supposed_ to call _you_."

Sam backtracks. "That's not what I meant, exactly."

Andy furrows her brows. "Then what did you mean, _exactly_?"

"I just meant that if I had known what happened then I would have come back for you."

Andy, clearly upset, "Who says I even need _your_ help?" Now noticing that Sam is still holding her tight, she shakes him off. She doesn't want him near her.

Sam furrows his eyebrows, hurt. "Andy, you don't really mean that."

"What the fuck would you know what I mean?"

He's taken aback by Andy's swearing - he hasn't really heard her swear in the time that he's been her T.O. Come to think of it, he hasn't really seen her that angry, either.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Why are you blaming me?"

Sam takes both her hands. "Look at me." She turns her head away.

"I want a drink," she informs him.

"I'll get you some water."

She swats his hand away. "Not water; scotch."

"I'm not getting you scotch. I won't let you end up like your old man."

"I-WANT-SCOTCH."

Fighting back, he threatens, "I'll pour _all_ your alcohol down the drain before I let you get drunk."

"Fuck you," she tells him, defeated.

Sam narrows his eyes. "What's going on with you, Andy? You're not acting like yourself."

"I'm ashamed," she looks down at her feet.

"What?"

"I'm ashamed!" she screams at him. She's so loud that Oliver can hear her from the front hall. He takes a couple steps towards her stairs, just in case.

Puzzled, Sam asks, "Why?"

"Because! If I can't protect myself, how the hell am I supposed to protect someone else?"

"We catch the bastard and make him pay."

For his honesty, Andy rewards him with a hint of a smile.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Wwhhat?" Andy's taken aback by what she assumes is his declaration of his love for her.

"You're _my_ rookie and I would do anything to make sure you're alright."

_Oh. Which she said in her head with maybe, even, just the slightest bit of disappointment._

"Look at me," Sam orders. Reluctantly, she glances upwards into his soft, brown eyes. "Everything is going to be okay."

Sniffling, she asks, "How do you know?"

"I'm here now. I'm going to make it okay for you."

Although still skeptical of his promise, she asks, "Promise?"

"Promise."


	6. Bad Medicine

**Chapter Six: Bad Medicine**

"...I heard Sam punched Luke in the stomach..."

"...I heard Luke has a black eye..."

"...I heard that people who don't know what they're talking about should shut up..." Sam retorts to the gossipers as he and Oliver walk by.

"Christ," Oliver shakes his head in disgust. "Don't you have bad guys to catch, or paperwork to fill out?"

"No, not really," they respond, bored, with fingers flying over the tiny keyboard on their Blackberry's warning everyone that Sam is back in the building. Everyone looks up for a quick second as Sam walks by, and then puts their heads back down. Nobody wants to be the first to say anything. Sergeant Best spies Sam walking in, when Gail does and she remembers her responsibility.

"Swarek," Sergeant Best calls out to him. "My office, please."

"Oh, yeah," Gail whispers to Sam, "Best wants to see you in his office."

Sam rolls his eyes at her. "Thanks for the warning," he says sarcastically.

"Somebody's in trouble," she mocks in a sing song voice.

**333**

"Take a seat," Best gestures to Sam at the empty one across from his desk.

"What's this about?"

"I hear you went to visit McNally today."

"Yeah, I did."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"Cut to the chase, Best. What's this about?"

"It's Sergeant Best to you, and I want you to tell me what happened when you went to visit her."

"Oh, I get it," Sam plays along. "You want to hear what happened _before _I went to see her. You want to hear about what happened with Callaghan. Why don't you just come out and ask it?"

"Okay, since you insist. What happened with you and Callaghan?"

Sam sits up a little straighter. "I headlocked him."

"You headlocked Callaghan?" Sergeant Best asks him, puzzled. "Why?"

"Does it really matter?"

Sergeant Best raises his eyebrows. "If you're interested in keeping your gun, then yeah, it matters."

"He wouldn't let me in to see her." Sam figures honesty is the best policy, especially when dealing with Best - he has the best bullshit radar that Sam has ever seen.

"Okay..." Best stalls. "But that is Callaghan's home. He has every right not to let you in."

"Yeah, I know. And all I wanted to do was see my rookie. Callaghan was in the way."

"She's not your rookie anymore. I don't know what's going on between you and McNally, but it needs to stop. If you want to put in for a transfer, that's fine. Guns and gangs, fine by me too. I just can't have you beating up my detectives."

"I'll figure something out. We done here?" Sam asks permission, as he stands up.

"Just one more thing."

"What is it?"

"I've made you an appointment to see Foster."

"What!" Sam exclaims, incredulous. "Why?"

"I can't risk you hurting someone."

Sam gestures, 'what are you talking about?'

"You. Callaghan. McNally. Stuff you need to work out if you're going to keep working the streets."

"Whatever."

As Sam opens the door, Sergeant Best calls out, "Your appointment's for Monday at ten. Be on time."

Sam cringes as he walks out.

**333**

"Enough," Luke tells her, pissed off, when he finds her still in bed when he returns home from work. "It's time for you to get on with your life."

Her eyes well up; tears threaten to fall. "What's your problem?"

"My problem?" Luke asks, expecting Andy to know what he's thinking. "We've been here a week, and there are still boxes all over the place! I tripped over one this morning! Can't you do something about that? You're _here_ all day!"

"It's not like I'm on vacation!" Andy screams back at him.

"Well, it sure looks like it," Luke retorts. "God! It really stinks in here!" He moves to open some windows to let some clean air circulate.

"Well, I'm sorry," she apologizes, sarcastically. "I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you."

"I'm not perfect!" he argues, not very convincingly. "I don't..._floss_!"

"Seriously?" she screams passionately, shrugging off the covers. "That's the best you can do! I don't floss either! I don't shower for days! I like '90s pop music! I kissed Sam last July!"

Her hands immediately went to her mouth when she realized what she just admitted.

Luke looks hurt. "I knew it! I knew something was going on."

"I'm sorry, Luke." Andy looks down at her feet.

"You really do stink," he informs her.

She starts shaking with laughter until she cries. Luke wipes away her tears with his thumb.

"You do, though."

Andy gives him the 'I don't think so' look.

"You really do. You need a shower."

This time Luke's in no mood to negotiate. Grabbing her arm, he pulls her into their shower fully clothed. He turns on the water; it's freezing cold. Andy, tears streaming down her face, begins to shiver, but makes no move to leave. Out of sympathy, Luke removes his tie and shoes, and steps into the shower with her, holding her in his arms as she continues to cry.

**333**

"I knew I'd find you here." Oliver takes a seat beside Sam, and gestures to the bartender to bring him over whatever Sam is drinking.


	7. Out Of My Head

**Note:** To my fellow Canadians, **HAPPY CANADA DAY**!

**Chapter Seven: Out Of My Head**

**FRIDAY MORNING**...

"Agh," Sam groans, restless in his sleepy state, feeling as if his head is about to explode.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Monica jokes, handing him some aspirin and a huge glass of water.

"Hmmm," he comments appreciatively, taking the pills and water from her hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Oliver called. Apparently I'm the first number on your cell."

He pops all the pills in his mouth and takes a large gulp of water.

"My head is pounding."

"Well, of course it is, silly. You got very, very drunk last night."

"I did?"

"See what I mean? You don't even remember what happened, do you?"

"God, something happened?" He gestures 'between us'?

Monica narrows her eyes at him, offended. "No, but what if something had?"

"Do we have to do this now?" Sam points to his throbbing head.

"I don't know, Sam," she says. "When would be a good time for you?"

"We're not dating. So thanks for taking care of me, but I can handle everything from here on out."

"Fine," she says, angrily, and slams the front door behind her.

**333**

"Hey Sammy," Oliver greets him cheerfully the same morning. "How's your head?"

"Do you have to talk so _loud_?"

Every time someone speaks all Sam hears is THUMP THUMP THUMP. He wishes today is over already, and yet, it hasn't even really begun. In the end, he doesn't remember who hands him the coffee, but he's eternally grateful. He spaces again once assignments are handed out, and he's glad that today he has the choice of staying in the barn and finishing paperwork. Honestly, he has no intention of doing any work today. Not unless forced, anyways. He's already starting by lying his head on his desk, only to be awoken minutes later by Callaghan. _Damn it_.

"Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?"

All eyes are on Sam and Callaghan, no one trying to hide their surprise or curiosity that the latter is attempting contact after what the barn is dubbing 'the incident.'

"Yeah, whatever. This about Andy?"

He nods. "Can we talk over there?" Callaghan nods to an empty interrogation room.

Sam raises his eyebrows at the suggestion, but doesn't mock the detective's need for privacy. Once the door is shut, Sam turns to Callaghan.

"So?"

"I want to call a truce."

"Truce?"

"Yeah, you know, a sort of cease-fire. For Andy's sake. She's in a...delicate state right now."

"Fine. Anything for Andy," Sam tells him sarcastically. "Are we done here? I think I have hives from being in a room with you for so long."

"Very mature, Sammy. Okay, how about we just not fight around Andy?"

"Whatever you say, D."

**333**

**FRIDAY EVENING**...

Surprisingly, only a cold shower was needed for Andy to wake up from her misery. Now, whenever she hears Maroon 5's "_I am in misery/There ain't no other who can comfort me?/Why won't you answer me/The silence is slowly killing me_," she doesn't sing along as if the sky is falling. Come Monday morning she is going to need all the cheerfulness she can get when she goes to her mandatory psychiatric appointment.

Mid-cut, Andy hears the distinctive turning of the lock on her front door, and she holds up the knife - _just in case_. Seconds after Luke enters, she releases the death grip on the knife, and relaxes.

"Hey sweetie," Luke kisses the top of her head when he returns home from work on Friday evening. "How do you feel today?"

"Much better. I actually had the energy to put away some boxes, so almost half the living room is clear."

Looking around, Luke observes, "Yeah, I can see that."

**333**

He thought that staring at the contents of his fridge would change things. Unfortunately, all he has is some mouldy cheddar, two slices of week old pizza, and ketchup. Definitely not dinner worthy. Especially after an unexpected day. Sam couldn't believe that after Callaghan left the room, everything started to turn to hell. What he believed was going to be a slow day turned into day long supervision of an overcrowded concert hall, one domestic disturbance call, and two B & E's. He figures, _kill me now_.

"I'll order an order of spicy vegetables, kung pao chicken, chicken fried rice, one egg roll, one spring roll, fortune cookies and a can of diet coke."

The luminescence from the TV lulls Sam to sleep, as he's grateful for his headache to be almost gone and the day to be almost over.

_"Hey," Andy says to him, breathless._

_"Hey."_

_"You alone?" _

_He looks in his darkened apartment, amused. "Yeah."_

_Andy looks uncomfortable, as if she knows she shouldn't be here, and yet really, really wants to be at the same time._

_"You want to talk?" Sam asks._

_"No," she barely shakes her head, as she shoves him against the wall in his hallway, cupping his face in her hands, hot breath on his face, her lips crushed against his..._

The knocking on his door wakes him up from his reverie, just when he thought he was going to get lucky.

"Oh?" he leans against his doorframe, disappointed. "It's you."


End file.
